Those Freaky McGuires And Gordons
by KarasumaFirestorm
Summary: An accident causes Matt and Gordo to switch bodies, and you can only imagine the chaos that ensues. LG, MM. (complete)
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: Matt almost never appears in my fics, so I thought I'd try it out...I don't know yet if this is going to have a serious or a funny tone.  
Based on the episode "Those Freaky McGuires", obviously, but with a twist. Hope you enjoy!  
*Karasuma*Firestorm*  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Gordo rang the bell. He almost never came over unannounced or uninvited, but it didn't matter the few occasions that he did. The McGuires loved him. Which worked out well, because he loved the McGuires. Mrs. McGuire was a great mom, cheerful and fun, and a little bit scary sometimes, but only because she loved you and wanted the best. Matt was a bit like the little brother Gordo had never had, but with the added bonus of he didn't have to live with him. He wasn't as bratty as Lizzie had always made him out to be, but maybe that was because Gordo was a guy. And Mr. McGuire was the most awesome dad. He was a little nerdy, but could be a lot of fun and always had time for his family, unlike Gordo's own dad.  
  
The door swung open, and Matt was there. "Gordo."  
  
"Hey, Matt."  
  
"She's not home, sorry."  
  
"Do you know where she went?"  
  
"I think she went to the mall with Miranda," Matt said, and Gordo felt a pang of hurt. They never went to the mall without him.  
  
Gordo's pain was clearly showing on his face, because Matt smiled apologetically and said, "I think she had to get school supplies or something. She'll be back soon. Wanna come in? Dad and I were about to watch Iron Chef."  
  
Mr. Gordon almost never watched TV, and when he did, it was always the History Channel or PBS. "Yeah, sure, if you don't mind."  
  
"If I minded, I wouldn't have asked," Matt retorted, pushing the door open all of the way and starting into the living room.  
  
Gordo let himself in and shut the door before following the youngest McGuire.  
  
"Oh, hey, Gordo," Lizzie's dad said cheerfully. "Wanna watch Iron Chef with us?"  
  
"Thanks," Gordo said, sitting down on the couch next to Matt.  
  
The secret ingredient was yogurt, which was providing some interesting recipes. Matt was thrilled at the idea of the gross-out combinations, and his eyes were glued to the screen. You could practically see the wheels turning.  
  
The phone rang with five minutes to the end of the episode. Mr. McGuire returned to the living room. "Guys, that was my work on the phone. I'll have to go in for awhile. Gordo, do you think you could stay and watch Matt until Jo and the girls get back?"  
  
"Sure, Mr. M."  
  
"Thanks. Let me know who wins, okay?" he said, cocking his head at the TV, then leaving. A minute later, they heard the front door shutting and his car pulling out of the driveway.  
  
The boys stayed fixated on the television only until the end of the episode, then all but ran into the kitchen, struck with the same hormonal teenage male desire: food, and lots of it.  
  
Gordo's head was submerged in the fridge, surveying its contents and gathering armfuls of supplies. When he removed himself, Matt had already set up the blender. "Got the yogurt?"  
  
Gordo tossed a carton of cherry vanilla yogurt at Matt, who snatched it out of the air effortlessly. He dumped the entire cup in the blender, and started reciting a laundry list of ingredients, which Gordo wordlessly passed off, not minding playing sidekick to Matt's mastermind. As long as it was safe and non-messy, Gordo was in the clear.  
  
"Ready?" Matt said, finger positioned on the 'frappe' button.  
  
"How about we give it a little kick?" Gordo said, bizarre inspiration hitting him courtesy of Iron Chef. "I saw some jalapenos in the veggie drawer."  
  
Matt tapped his chin in thought. "I like it. And if the smoothies suck, we can always talk Lizzie into drinking one."  
  
Normally Gordo wouldn't have gone along with any of Matt's plans that had Lizzie on the receiving end, but this one was fairly harmless, and she and Miranda had gone to the mall without so much as a call to Gordo, so he agreed instantaneously. Matt eagerly fetched the jalapenos, then dropped two into the blender. "That ought to be enough, right?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
Together they placed their fingers on the button. "Let there be LIFE!" Matt roared, and they engaged the blender.  
  
It was a pinkish-brownish hue, but smelled pleasantly fruity. "What shall we call it?" Matt said, pouring it into two glasses.  
  
"Supersonic Tonic, part two?" Gordo suggested.  
  
Matt rolled his eyes. "Please."  
  
"Oh, do you have any better ideas?"  
  
The younger boy paused, and shrugged. "Okay, go with that. Cheers!" They clinked their glasses, and simultaneously took long swallows.  
  
It was like an electric jolt to Gordo's body. He didn't think that two measly jalapeno peppers thrown in with gobs of yogurt and fruit would really make that much of a difference, but he felt so bizarre...  
  
Gordo put down his glass...and found himself looking at Gordo.  
  
"Matt..?" he said uncertainly.  
  
"Yeah?" his own body answered, in his own voice.  
  
"What's going on? You're me."  
  
"Oh no, not AGAIN!" Matt bemoaned.  
  
"What do you mean, 'again?'" Gordo asked.  
  
Suddenly he remembered that day that Lizzie showed up to school dressed like Elton John and acting like anyone but herself...then the next day she didn't remember anything. It was starting to make sense, but it was just too weird. "So I'm you...and you're me?"  
  
Matt-Gordo shrugged. "Looks that way."  
  
"Well, what do you think did it?"  
  
"Supersonic Tonic, part two, is my guess."  
  
"We drank it at the same time," Gordo thought out slowly. "So if we did it again, do you think it would reverse itself?"  
  
"Didn't work that way the last time," Matt-Gordo said. "We're probably stuck like this for awhile."  
  
"'Stuck?' We can't be stuck. We have school tomorrow, and..."  
  
The front door opened. "Sam? Matt? We're home!"  
  
Lizzie, Miranda, and Mrs. McGuire paraded into the kitchen, completely not noticing that the two men with food spread out on the island were not two McGuire men, but one McGuire and one Gordon, in mismatching bodies. Immediately Lizzie and Miranda went to the fridge.  
  
"Nice of you guys to invite me," Gordo said sourly.  
  
"Uh! Like we'd ever invite you to the mall with us, worm," Lizzie retorted.  
  
It was like a stab to the heart. Why was Lizzie being so mean all of a sudden?  
  
Someone elbowed Gordo in the side, and he turned to look into his own face. Oh, yeah. She was mean because he was Matt.  
  
This was going to take some getting used to.  
  
Then a thought struck him. What if he stayed in Matt's body forever, and he never got to hang out with Lizzie again?  
  
Wait a minute. He was in Matt's body. He got to live with her!  
  
This wasn't looking that bad...  
  
Lizzie turned around and saw Matt-Gordo. "Gordo! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Babysitting," Gordo said, and they looked at him. "Me."  
  
"Yeah, um, there was a call from work, and Dad had to leave," Matt filled in quickly.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Your dad. I said your dad."  
  
Gordo and Matt glanced at each other, worried.  
  
"Oh, well, thanks, Gordo," Mrs. McGuire said, patting Matt-Gordo's shoulder.  
  
"Not a problem. Matt is so charming and delightful."  
  
Lizzie raised an eyebrow at this, and Gordo looked at his pseudo self with a glare daring him to try that again. Finally Lizzie moved her gaze to the blender. "You guys made smoothies?" she asked, reaching for the blender.  
  
"NO!" Matt and Gordo chorused loudly. "You don't want to drink that," Gordo told her. "It has jalapenos in it."  
  
Abruptly she retracted her hand. "Gross me out. I won't even ask. We're going upstairs, Mom."  
  
"Okay, honey."  
  
Lizzie and Miranda started for the stairs, Gordo following closely behind. At the foot of the staircase, Lizzie glared at him. "Uh, excuse me, you weren't invited."  
  
Right. He wasn't himself. He looked at Matt-Gordo worriedly, but he only shrugged and followed the girls.  
  
Gordo hovered at the bottom of the staircase, uncertain of what to do with himself. Finally he settled for going up to Matt's room and lying down to think it all out. 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
This had to be the first time Matt had ever gone into Lizzie's room invited. Of course, he wasn't exactly himself.  
  
The way he saw it, this little switcheroo couldn't really hurt anyone...yet. As Gordo, Lizzie would tell him anything. That was loads of dirt that he could use against her.  
  
Lizzie sat down on the bed, and Miranda sat next to her. Matt took the chair, not knowing where Gordo usually sat, or if they even had usual seats. "So why didn't you guys call me?" Matt said.  
  
"You told us you didn't want to go with us next time we went shopping for...girl stuff..." Lizzie said, glancing at Miranda.  
  
"That's where you were?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
"I can't believe you stayed with Matt," she said, gazing contemptuously at the wall as if she could see through it to his room.  
  
"Matt's not that bad of a guy." He didn't know whether or not this was out of line. Gordo had always seemed to like him well enough, and besides, Matt had to be his own advocate.  
  
"Yeah, Lizzie, he may be obnoxious, but even you've said once or twice that he's a good kid," Miranda said.  
  
Matt tried not to show his shock. He thought Lizzie hated him. "We had fun this afternoon," was all he said.  
  
"Yeah, well, maybe he is pretty okay sometimes," Lizzie conceded. "But guys, c'mon, don't we have anything better to talk about than my little brother?"  
  
Matt didn't know what to say. He decided to wait, the girls would have something to say. After all, when they were over here, they never shut up.  
  
And they didn't. Miranda brought up what Ethan Craft's hair had looked like in school, and they gushed about him for what seemed like ages. Matt just rolled his eyes, which turned out to be an appropriate response for Gordo.  
  
Finally they got bored, and it got late. Miranda looked at the clock. "Oh, geez, we should get going," she said. "Ready, Gordo?"  
  
Ready? Oh man...this wasn't good.  
  
"I, uh, left something in Matt's room," he stammered. "Wait for me."  
  
"Sure," she said, starting down the stairs.  
  
Matt exploded into his own room, where Gordo-Matt was lying down on the bed. He looked up, and Matt was staring at himself. "What's up?"  
  
"I have to go home," Matt said. "Gordo has to go home. I don't even know where you live!"  
  
"Is Miranda's mom coming to pick her up?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Well, ask her for a ride home, since it's on the way," Gordo said. "Once you get to my house, just tell my parents that you ate something weird at the McGuire's, you don't feel so good, and you're going to bed early. Then I guess I'll call you later and we'll figure this out."  
  
"How do you put up with those two every day?" Matt said, hand on the doorknob. "All they do is talk about Ethan, Ethan, Ethan. What's with them? He's a cool guy and all, but he's so duhhhhh."  
  
"No kidding. The girl talk is annoying, but they're both pretty cool, and smart, and good friends. And we talk about other stuff than just guys."  
  
"For your sake, I hope so."  
  
"GORDO!" Miranda yelled from downstairs.  
  
"WHAT?" they both yelled, then turned to look at each other, alarmed. Gordo-Matt pointed at Matt.  
  
Matt stuck his head into the hallway. "What?"  
  
"It's raining and my mom is here. D'ya want a ride?"  
  
Matt glanced at Gordo-Matt, who nodded. "Yeah," he called downstairs. "Coming."  
  
"Talk to you later?" Gordo said.  
  
"Guess so," Matt said, and went home as Gordo.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Pretending to be Matt wasn't as bad as Gordo had been expecting. Lizzie had complained enough about her brother that he could guess how to act at the table, annoying but not obnoxious enough to get into trouble. Afterwards, the McGuires went off to watch TV, and Lizzie went to her room.  
  
Gordo followed.  
  
"Matt! Don't you knock!" Lizzie said irritably, taking her headphones off and glaring at him.  
  
"Can I talk to you?"  
  
She raised an eyebrow. Clearly this was not typical Matt behavior. "Um...I guess so."  
  
Gordo shut the door behind him and sat in the far chair. "What do you think about Gordo?" he said.  
  
Lizzie couldn't hide the shock on her face. "What?"  
  
"I mean, do you like Gordo?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm just wondering."  
  
"Of course I like Gordo."  
  
"I mean...'cause...I normally wouldn't say anything, because, I don't care what you do with your life, but it's just that Gordo is a really nice guy and I hate to see him hurt by you."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, Matt?"  
  
Gordo figured by now that his feelings for Lizzie were obvious to everyone except Lizzie, so stepping in as Matt would be weird, but it wouldn't be out of left field. "Can't you tell that he likes you?"  
  
"Gordo doesn't like me," she dismissed with a huff, but he could see that she didn't quite believe what she was saying.  
  
"Don't be stupid, Lizzie. He's always over here, and you spend way more time with him than you do with Miranda, and I think that maybe he's the one person on the planet who would be stupid and blind enough to have a crush on you." There. That sounded like Matt.  
  
"Matt, get out of here."  
  
"I'm just saying."  
  
"GET OUT!" Lizzie shrieked, flinging a pillow at Gordo's head.  
  
Gordo yelped, shielded his now-spiky head, and left the room. 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Matt hid out in Gordo's room. He'd been dropped off by Miranda's mom, and had run into Mrs. Gordon on his way in. He followed Gordo's plan, claiming a stomachache due to a weird smoothie he'd drank. "Are you okay? Should I call a doctor?"  
  
"No, it's just a bug," Matt insisted, using his best sick-faking skills. It didn't work on his own mom, but maybe it would work on Gordo's. "I don't think those strawberries were quite ripe. Last time I ever let Matt make smoothies."  
  
Mrs. Gordon frowned. "I thought you were going to see Lizzie."  
  
"Oh, she wasn't in, so I watched Iron Chef with Matt."  
  
"I'm glad to see you making new friends, honey. I mean, I adore Lizzie and Miranda, but your father and I believe you'd be better suited with more male friends. Sometimes we worry about you becoming emasculated, which could result in a backlash, and violent tendencies later in life...or it could go the other way and end up with you being--"  
  
Matt held up his hand, cutting her off. "No offense or anything, but I really wanna just lie down, okay?"  
  
"Okay, dear. Should I call you for dinner?"  
  
Small talk with Lizzie's best friend's parents? No way. "Nah, I might just go to bed early," he said. "Night."  
  
Matt ran up the stairs as fast as he could while still pretending to be sick.  
  
In the safety of Gordo's bedroom, he wasn't sure what to do. He looked around. There was a poster for Bonelicker II: Chew the Marrow on the wall, which made Matt shudder involuntarily at the unpleasant memory. There was also a poster of Frank Sinatra, and a poster for Lord of the Rings. Matt frowned; he'd thought for sure that the aversion therapy worked in curbing Gordo's elfin obsession. There was a stuffed bookcase, lots of floor space, a biggish bed with a lot more bounce than Matt's own, and a desk with a computer, printer, scanner, webcam, the works. Matt didn't want to turn it on, because he was afraid that he'd break something and destroy one of Gordo's movies -- which could or could not result in death. He didn't particularly want to find out.  
  
Even so, he was still drawn in the direction of the computer...particularly to a photo taped on the edge of the large monitor. Matt peered at it. It was his sister.  
  
There were lots of pictures of Lizzie around. They were all on the bulletin board, shots of Gordo, Lizzie, and Miranda at school functions, at the beach, at amusement parks. Gordo had Lizzie and Miranda's school pictures from seventh and eighth grade up there, too.  
  
But this photo was different. It was a single shot of Lizzie, not professionally done, but definitely high-quality for amateur photography. Matt couldn't quite believe it, but his sister looked...pretty. Even...beautiful?  
  
Okay, yeah, that was a weird direction to go in. But if Matt could admit that Lizzie looked really special in that shot, he could only imagine what Gordo thought of it.  
  
Then it occurred to him. Gordo...and Lizzie? No way.  
  
Still, the guy was always over at the house. And Lizzie was constantly talking to him on the phone.  
  
But...Lizzie. Ew. Gordo was such a cool guy, and he liked Matt's Dorkerella sister?  
  
Oh, how the mighty had fallen.  
  
He was re-testing the springiness of the bedsprings when the phone rang. Matt instantly dove for the receiver. "Hello?"  
  
"Matt?" he heard his own voice say.  
  
"Gordo?"  
  
"Okay, so you made it over there, good. Were there any complications?"  
  
"Well, your mom started spouting some crazy psychobabble..."  
  
"Yeah, she does that a lot. My dad, too. But it's late enough in the game that they won't bug you for the rest of the night, I'd say."  
  
"Okay. So what now?"  
  
Gordo paused. "Um, I don't know. You said this happened before, right?"  
  
"Yeah, with me and Lizzie. Try being a girl for a day!" Matt shook his head. Being Lizzie had only been the most uncomfortable experience of his life.  
  
"It only lasted a day, then? So maybe that's what it'll take for us."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"I dunno. It feels like one of those sitcom stock plots, with the body switching. You know, Freaky Friday. Walking a mile in another man's shoes and all that."  
  
Matt stared blankly at the wall. Sometimes he didn't understand a word Gordo was saying. "What?"  
  
Gordo sighed on the other end of the line. "Never mind. Just...I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow."  
  
"Um, no you won't. You're Matt. You have to go to elementary." Sweet! That meant that Matt would be going to middle school again.  
  
"What? No way. I'm not going to elementary school. I refuse. As it is, middle school is too easy for me. I don't want to lower my IQ."  
  
"If middle school's too easy for you, why aren't you in high school, then?" Matt asked. "Didn't Lizzie say you could skip ahead?"  
  
There was a pause. "Yeah, well, I could, but I stayed. I have my reasons."  
  
Matt glanced over at the picture of Lizzie on the monitor. "Like, what?"  
  
"What business is it of yours?" Gordo said sourly.  
  
"Like, a girl, maybe?" Matt pressed. His skill for being the most annoying person within a five-mile radius had been unused pretty much all day, considering he was stuck in this body. Suddenly he found himself absolutely having to know about Gordo's personal life, and how it concerned Matt's future. Which, if Gordo really did like Lizzie, it did.  
  
"What makes you say that?" Gordo said, but he sounded strained.  
  
"I'm in your room, aren't I?"  
  
"Listen, Matt, I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are. Just...know your boundaries, okay?"  
  
Matt had definitely touched a sore spot.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, okay," he said. "Listen, I'll see you at the bus stop tomorrow."  
  
They hung up, and Matt started snooping. 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Gordo leaned back in Matt's bed. He didn't like the fact that Matt was alone in Gordo's room, without Gordo, and without adult supervision of some kind. Suddenly Gordo thought of a million things he would like to keep secret in there, and wondered why he hadn't just insisted that 'Gordo' spend the night at Lizzie's.  
  
Furthermore, the worst part about all this was, not that he couldn't go home, not that he would be forced to return to elementary school, not that he could make Swiss cheese with his head, but that he couldn't talk to Lizzie. At all. She wouldn't talk to him, and after his little matchmaker game that evening, she wasn't letting him anywhere near her.  
  
Okay, there were probably worse things than being Matt McGuire. But at the moment, he couldn't really think of any. And how could Matt sleep in this room? It was like Weird Al Yankovic threw up in it. The place was awash in primary colors and random practical joke objects. Did anyone even find those fake arrow-through-the-head things funny anymore?  
  
Still, it was interesting being here. The last time he'd slept over at the McGuire's had been the time that they'd gone to Grubby Longjohn's, which had been a disheartening experience, to say the least. All the same, he admired Lizzie for putting her family first. That was the sort of thing Lizzie did, put others before herself. Like when she took the blame for Kate's statue-splitting stunt, just so everyone could have their dance. She was a stand-up girl, Lizzie McGuire was.  
  
Gordo folded his hands under his head, and was surprised once again to find not his familiar curly mop, but bristles. He might never get used to this. And did he ever hope that he never would have to. Spending life as Matt McGuire was a bit too much. Permanently close to the person he loved most, but completely unable to have her. It was an even worse situation than when he was in his own body.  
  
And *elementary school*? No way in hell was he going back there. He had dignity!  
  
...He also had the body of a ten-year-old.  
  
Gordo sighed. This entire situation was surreal, confusing, and very, very sucky. In situations like these, what he had gleaned from Hollywood was that you had to somehow learn how tough it was to be the other person, and then whammo! You were yourself again.  
  
It was fairly hard to be Matt, he thought. Matt's entire existence was based around being a troublemaker, and being that annoying all the time wasn't easy work. Constant detention, always being grounded, and when you were being good, you were under suspicion anyway. It was a complicated life, to say the least.  
  
"Okay, so I've had some revelations about Matt McGuire," Gordo said to the ceiling and whatever powers that may have been listening in. "Can I be normal again?"  
  
"Ew, squirt, you were *never* normal," Lizzie said with disgust from the doorway.  
  
Gordo sat up sharply. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I wanted to talk. But you're clearly having a conversation with yourself, so I won't bother." She started to shut the door.  
  
"No!" Gordo said, leaping from the bed. Lizzie's eyes widened at his enthusiasm, and he had to remind himself to tone it down. "I mean, um, c'mon in, er..." he needed a good insult, "Lizard-breath."  
  
"Ugh," Lizzie said, shaking her head, and he knew he had scored. Yeah, he'd stolen it from 'For Better Or Worse,' but he was new at this. Insulting Lizzie just wasn't in his nature.  
  
"So, uh, what's up?" he asked, sitting on the bed.  
  
Lizzie peered around the room like she hadn't been in it before and wrinkled her face in displeasure. She sat on the floor, as close to the door as possible without actually being in the hallway. Clearly planning a quick getaway.  
  
"Um...what you were saying earlier...about Gordo?" she hedged.  
  
Gordo felt his entire body --Matt's entire body-- tense up. "Yeah?"  
  
"Did you...did you mean it? That he likes me?"  
  
"How stupid do you have to be?" Gordo asked, unable to control his annoyance, which was fine, considering he was Matt now. "Really, Lizzie."  
  
"Well, we're best friends. I just...I just never thought he could feel that way about me, I guess."  
  
"Why are you always so hard on yourself?" he said irritably. She looked up sharply, and he knew he'd said too much. "Anyway, listen. Gordo's pretty cool. But he's not stupid, and he's not going to wait forever for you." Although he didn't quite believe that. He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm done playing Buddha. Get outta here, before I have to exterminate."  
  
"Whatever, Geek Boy," Lizzie huffed, and left.  
  
Was he pushing her closer or farther away? He didn't know.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Matt had only just made it through the top drawer of Gordo's desk when the phone rang again. He picked it up, slightly grumpy from being interrupted. "What do you want."  
  
"Wow, someone's in a mood," came Miranda's voice. "What bit you in the butt, Gordo?"  
  
"Oh. Um. Nothing. Just not feeling so hot, I guess."  
  
"Yeah, you were pretty quiet earlier," Miranda said.  
  
With a soft sigh, Matt abandoned his search and sat on Gordo's bed. "So, um, what's up?"  
  
"I dunno. Avoiding writing that essay for Mrs. Stebel."  
  
Essay? Matt hoped that Gordo had been standard Gordo and had done the homework before stupidly getting his body switched, because Matt was *not* writing an eighth grade Social Studies essay. No way. "Yeah."  
  
"How about you? What goes on in Gordo-land?"  
  
"Well, let's just say it's been a...strange day," Matt said.  
  
"I'll bet. You hung out with Matt."  
  
"Hey, spending your every waking moment with two girls isn't good for your health."  
  
To his surprise, Miranda laughed. "I can imagine. Sorry if we're too...you know, girly for you sometimes."  
  
"Yeah, well," was all he could say.  
  
"I think you're a good influence for Matt," Miranda said. "I mean, it's not that he's a bad kid, but a little Gordo guidance, and he'll be really special."  
  
"Almost sounds like you miss your ex," Matt teased, then realized what he was saying. Miranda *was* Matt's ex. And it *did* sound like she sort of missed him...  
  
Hmm, Miranda Sanchez, huh? The one that got away. Matt smiled.  
  
"In a weird way, you know, I kinda do. I mean, it's not like I wasn't totally freaked out. But it was so cool to have someone interested in me, you know?"  
  
"Well, you're worth it," Matt blurted, then realized that the words had come from Gordo's mouth. That was the *last* thing he wanted...for Miranda to think that Gordo liked her.  
  
"A compliment from Gordo?" Miranda laughed. "About *me*? I thought Lizzie was the one you were all over."  
  
Matt's blood ran cold. So Gordo *did* like Lizzie.  
  
Gordo. And his sister. 


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"What do you mean, all over Lizzie?" Matt said, laughing nervously.  
  
"Really, now, Gordo, do you think I'm blind? You've only been in love with her since, like, seventh grade."  
  
"You're delirious."  
  
"Please. If you want me to keep it all hush-hush, I will, no problem, but I'm your *other* best friend, remember? You don't have to lie to me."  
  
Struck by inspiration, Matt said slyly, "Only if you tell me how you *really* feel about Matt McGuire."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gordo was going nuts with boredom. The two computers in the house were in Lizzie's room and the living room, respectively, and the thought of going out in the open as Matt was unnerving, even with the notion that it would be good practice for his unfortunate excursion to elementary school tomorrow (although he was still praying that he'd wake up in his own body). Plus, their connection didn't compare to his, and the only real reason he used the computer was for school (he'd finished his work before coming over this morning) and for his filmmaking. And of course all of his stuff was on his home computer.  
  
Bored, with a few hours still to kill before Matt's bedtime, Gordo gave up the ghost and pounded on Lizzie's door for the second time. She opened it, exasperated and looking less than thrilled that Matt McGuire was standing there. "What do you want *now*, worm," she said irritably.  
  
He shrugged. "I'm bored. Wanna play a board game or something?"  
  
Lizzie cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're kidding, right?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't you have things to burn or something? Can't you go call Lanny or Melina?"  
  
Gordo swallowed a smile. Lizzie acted like she couldn't care less about her brother, but she knew the names of his best friends, and that said a lot. "They can't come over this late," he lied. Well, maybe it wasn't a lie. He really didn't know. But he didn't want to spend time with *Matt's* best friends, he wanted to spend time with *his* best friend. "Come on," he whined.  
  
Lizzie huffed, rolling her eyes. "Fine, whatever. But you better not cheat, or do anything even remotely obnoxious, because if you do, I am going to kick your butt so hard you won't be able to get the taste of my shoes out of your mouth."  
  
"It's bad enough that you already smell like feet," Gordo said, making a face. He was pleased at how quickly he was adapting to becoming Matt, but at the same time, it scared him. What if he *did* get stuck this way?  
  
Lizzie scowled. "Do you wanna play, or not?"  
  
"I do, I do," he said hastily, following her into her room.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Miranda laughed. "Me? And Matt?"  
  
"I showed you mine, show me yours," Matt said. "C'mon, Miranda, no secrets between best friends, remember?"  
  
She sighed. "Well, I dunno. I mean, the kid went completely overboard, but he was sweet, I guess. And it was kinda cool to be the one being chased, for once."  
  
"So you meant what you said? I'm-- I mean, he's a great kid?" Matt asked, hopefulness leaking into his voice despite himself.  
  
Miranda laughed again. "What are you, Gordo, Matt's matchmaker?"  
  
"I just...I just think it's funny that we both have crushes on McGuires," Matt said.  
  
"I do *not* have a crush on Matt McGuire!" Miranda said hotly.  
  
"Sounds to me like you do," he teased, grinning widely. Miranda liked him. Miranda liked him!  
  
Being Gordo was maybe the best thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"...Four, five, six, seven," Gordo counted out, moving the top hat across the board. "Score! Oriental Avenue. And that makes a full set for me."  
  
Lizzie blew her bangs off of her forehead. "You're worse than Gordo. If I didn't know better, I'd say you *were* Gordo. I mean, he always picks the top hat...and aren't you usually the race car?"  
  
Oh, crap. He'd made a serious blunder. Fortunately for him, Lizzie was only just now catching on, which meant his performance as Geek Boy was pretty convincing otherwise. He shrugged. "I felt like being the top hat. A little variety might do you some good, your Royal Heinous...aren't *you* always the Scotty dog?" He faked a yawn. "How tired."  
  
Lizzie giggled. She actually giggled. "You know, I hate to say it, but you might be right. A little spice wouldn't kill me."  
  
Gordo ventured a smile. Being around Lizzie like this was...it was good. He didn't have to worry about saying something by accident and having her read too much into it. He was just her obnoxious little brother. He didn't have to listen to her girl talk, and he didn't have to dispense advice at the drop of a hat. He just got to be around her, without expectations.  
  
As Lizzie landed on Boardwalk, which Gordo owned in addition to Park Place, she groaned and began to shift through her small stack of Monopoly money. She stuck out her tongue and the colored slips of paper. "You know, I'm just not in the mood for this. I'm just going to go to bed."  
  
"So I win?"  
  
She smirked. "Yeah, sure. You win, you little weasel. And you didn't even have to cheat to do it."  
  
"Cool."  
  
Lizzie stood up, stretching her arms over her head, and exposing a strip of skin between her waistband and shirt hem. Gordo found himself staring, and caught himself just in time. Matt checking out his sister was definitely not normal behavior. He yawned dramatically. "Yeah, I'm beat, too. Ciao, Lizardbreath." On his way out, however, Gordo stopped in the doorframe and smiled at her. "Thanks for the game."  
  
"Anytime," she answered, then shook her head, smiling slightly. "Well, maybe not *anytime*."  
  
They both laughed at that, and Gordo closed the door behind him. He fell asleep, as usual, with Lizzie on the brain. 


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"MATT! LIZZIE! GET UP! You're going to be late!"  
  
Gordo was jostled from his bed by the sound of Mrs. McGuire bellowing, and he was so accustomed to his alarm clock waking him up that this change scared the heck out of him. Enough so that he tumbled out of bed.  
  
He blinked around, confused. This was *not* his room. He got to his feet. Not his carpet. Not his bed. Not his mirror...and *definitely* not his body! Gordo blinked into the full-length mirror on the back of the door, which was far too vain an object for him to ever have in his room, but that was the least of his concerns because he was Matt McGuire.  
  
Oh yeah. Jalapeno smoothies, body-switching...it was all coming back to him now. So he was still stuck in Matt's body. Frantic, he dialed his house, praying that his parents would be in the bathroom or something and wouldn't hear the phone.  
  
One, two, three... "Hello?"  
  
Gordo's own groggy voice flooded his ears. "I'm still you. What the hell am I supposed to do?"  
  
"Say wha..?"  
  
"Matt. It's Gordo. Remember Gordo? The one whose *body* you're currently in?"  
  
A pause, and then came, "Oh, this can't be good." He sounded more awake this time around.  
  
"I can't go to school like this!" Gordo said, suddenly frantic. "I can't go to elementary school, period!"  
  
"Listen, listen, just find Melina and Lanny, and explain it to them. They'll watch out for you."  
  
Suddenly the phone clicked, and Lizzie came on the line. After she didn't hear a dial tone, she huffed. "Matt! Get off the phone! This is important."  
  
"You're calling CNN about your latest zit?" Matt said sarcastically.  
  
Yet another pause, and Lizzie said confusedly, "Gordo?"  
  
"Yeah?" Gordo and Matt chorused.  
  
"Why're you on the phone with my doofy brother?"  
  
"Oh! He, ah, he called for you, and I answered," Gordo covered quickly. "Um, bye." He hung up quickly. This was not shaping out to be a good morning, he thought, rummaging through Matt's closet.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Making conversation with his sister --*pleasant* conversation, no less-- was the last thing Matt felt like doing, but he wasn't left with much of a choice. "So, what's up?"  
  
"Only, like, major crisis."  
  
"Isn't everything a crisis with you?"  
  
"Tomorrow's Miranda's *birthday*, Gordo, what are we supposed to do? Why didn't we think of this sooner? Why haven't we planned a huge surprise party or something?"  
  
Miranda's birthday, huh..? This could be his big chance to prove that he wasn't just some obnoxious little kid, that he *was* the great kid she thought he was. Of course, still being in Gordo's body was hampering him slightly, but he'd work something out. He was Matt McGuire, after all. He *always* worked something out.  
  
"Party planning isn't really my thing," he said, yawning. "You should know that by now."  
  
"Well, it's not like I can ask *Miranda* about it," she said, and Matt knew his sister well enough to know that she was rolling her eyes right now.  
  
"Okay, okay, fine, we'll figure something out at lunch today, all right? I'll see you later." Hanging up rather abruptly, Matt made a face. Great. Now he had to think up a birthday present for Miranda, *and* plan a party for her? He was only one man!  
  
One thing Matt had to say about Gordo was that he had decent style. Very casual, very relaxed. Very not like Lizzie, which was good, because dressing like Lizzie had been a nightmare. Swallowing hard and steeling himself for uncomfortable confrontation, Matt went downstairs.  
  
"Morning, David," Mr. Gordon said distractedly, hunched over a newspaper.  
  
"Um, hey." Matt slunk into his seat.  
  
"You aren't going to get breakfast, David?" Mrs. Gordon said, peering at him. "I, uh," Matt stammered, looking at her, and then looking where she was gesturing, at the cereal boxes on top of the fridge. "Oh. Breakfast. Yeah." Usually his mom made him breakfast, even pouring his cereal for him, so fending for himself wasn't something Matt was used to. He looked over his choices. Banana Nut Crunch, Bran Flakes...where were the Cocoa Puffs or Froot Loops? Matt made a face. Man, Gordo had it rough.  
  
He scarfed down his banana-flavored cereal as quickly as he could, surprised at how...non-gross it was. Actually, it was pretty good. "Gotta catch the bus," he said, thanking whoever it was watching over him that made the Gordons non-conversational this morning. Or maybe every morning, he didn't know. "See you later."  
  
"Have a good day, David," Mr. Gordon said, smiling at him over the top of the front page.  
  
"Learn something new," Mrs. Gordon said.  
  
"Don't I always?" Matt said, trying his best to channel his inner Gordo. Apparently this response was okay, even normal, because they just smiled at him as he left the room.  
  
Lizzie pounced on him the second he got on the bus. "Okay, Gordo, answer me this. Does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"  
  
Matt opened his mouth ready to tell her that yes, it did, and it also made the rest of her look wide, too (which wasn't true at all, but it would've frazzled her, as was Matt's goal in life), but then remembered at the last second who he was. Well, who he was supposed to be. "Lizzie, I'm your guy best friend. Ask Miranda."  
  
Lizzie blew her bangs off her forehead. "Fiiiiine," she said exasperatedly. She knelt next to him and peered over the seat at Miranda. "Miranda, does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"  
  
"No, your shoulders look fine," Miranda said. "And the color's really good for your skin tone."  
  
"That's what the saleslady said when I bought it," Lizzie said, looking relieved and sinking back into her seat as the bus lurched to the school.  
  
While the three of them waited at Miranda's locker for her to get her books, Lizzie toyed with her hair and said, "Did I tell you guys what happened last night after you left?" They shook their heads at her, and Matt wondered what Gordo had been doing with his body.  
  
"Well, Matt came to my room and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with him. It was, like, *so* surreal." She paused then, a slight smile crossing her face. "But kind of fun. My little brother can be pretty cool sometimes. You know, when he's not being the Lord of the Geeks."  
  
"I am--" Matt started to say, then shut up. Fortunately, neither of them had noticed.  
  
"Yeah, he's not a total dweeb, right, Miranda?" Matt said, flashing Miranda a pointed look. To his pleasure, she blushed slightly.  
  
"Right, right, not a total dweeb," she said, kicking him while Lizzie wasn't looking. "I told you, all things Matt stay between us," she hissed before they ducked in the classroom.  
  
"As it should be," Matt muttered to himself, smirking.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gordo wandered into the elementary school, looking around frantically for Matt's friends. He spotted them hanging out by the water fountain and dashed over. "Okay, I'm not really going to bother with pleasantries, because I don't have time for that. I'm not Matt."  
  
They stared at him.  
  
"I'm Gordo."  
  
"Gordo as in Lizzie's friend Gordo?" Melina said.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Lanny cocked his head to one side, and Gordo answered, "Yeah, I don't know *how* we did it, exactly, but we definitely did." Then he stopped dead. Had he just understood Lanny? Lanny hadn't actually spoken...  
  
Had he?  
  
Gordo shook his head, trying to clear it. "Anyway, Matt said you guys could help me fit in and attract as little attention as possible."  
  
"Yeah, we can do it," Melina said, nodding. "When did this happen?"  
  
"Yesterday afternoon. I ended up spending the night at the McGuires', and Matt went to my place."  
  
Lanny looked at him. "Yeah, you're right, Lanny. It is like Freaky Friday. Matt didn't get me when I said that, though."  
  
Again Gordo stared blankly at his best friend's-brother's-best-friend. This was just getting weirder and weirder.  
  
As if that were even possible. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"I wonder what Lizzie's doing right now," Gordo mumbled into his sandwich. Props to Mrs. McGuire, she made her kids lunch.  
  
Melina rolled her eyes. "Are you, like, totally in love with her or something?"  
  
Gordo looked up sharply. "Say what?"  
  
"Please, that's about the thirty-seventh time you've mentioned her, is all. Listen, I bet she's really missing you right now."  
  
"Yeah, right. Look, you two, Matt and me are the only ones who know about this whole switch thing." He sighed dramatically. "Not that Lizzie would care that it wasn't really me."  
  
Lanny shook his head emphatically.  
  
"Okay, maybe she would miss me a little," Gordo conceded. "But only because the alternative is Matt."  
  
"Have a little faith in yourself, Gordo," Melina said almost gently. "Listen, Lizzie probably thinks more highly of you than you think she does, okay? Don't stress." She glanced across the cafeteria. "Ooh! Jody Hale has pudding. And I *believe* she owes me a favor..." Melina said suggestively. "I'll be right back.  
  
Watching her walk away, watching the swinging blond hair, Gordo felt himself missing lunchtime with Lizzie. Amazing what you took for granted, and didn't fully appreciate until you were in someone else's body.  
  
Gordo turned to look at Lanny. "I shouldn't like her," Gordo said, not quite believing that he was baring his soul to a person that he barely knew, that was a friend of a friend (who themselves was really more a friend's brother). Still, it was better than just constantly keeping this to himself, wasn't it? If he didn't say something to *someone*, he'd burst. "I mean, she's my best friend. It's just...I shouldn't like her."  
  
Lanny cocked his head to one side, clearly asking 'why not?'  
  
"Because she's my best friend," Gordo repeated, furrowing his brow, unable to come up with a better argument. He had tons of reasons in the 'con' column floating around his head, but he couldn't quite give them voice. With a sigh, he finally said, "Because she doesn't like me like that."  
  
Lanny shook his head, and suggested with a shrug that that wasn't necessarily true.  
  
"Because she asked me to dance in her backyard on Sadie Hawkins Day?" Gordo repeated the words that were never said. "Well, that was different, you know...she was just upset..."  
  
Lanny raised one eyebrow, questioning the validity of that statement.  
  
Gordo sighed. "It would just never work out between us," he said resolutely, biting into his sandwich. As Lanny shrugged and returned to his own lunch, Melina returned to her seat next to Gordo, triumphantly holding Jody Hale's pudding cup. The trio was so absorbed in their lunches that none of them noticed the smirk crossing Adam Barton's face.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Ugggh, I hate pop quizzes," Lizzie complained, hugging her books to her chest as her own trio slunk out of the math room.  
  
"Me too," Matt said with a groan, trying to readjust Gordo's uncomfortable messenger bag on his shoulder. Couldn't the guy use a backpack like everyone else?  
  
"What're you talking about, Gordo? You love pop quizzes," Lizzie said.  
  
"Lizzie, he's being normal for once. Don't try to revert him back to his former self," Miranda said. She put her arm around Matt's shoulders and shook him slightly. "My little Gordo's finally growing *down*," she said with mock pride, smiling at him. Matt smiled nervously back at her, secretly reveling in her touch, but she let him go.  
  
"Well, he may be the new and improved Gordo, but I bet he still gets hungry like prototype Gordo," Lizzie said. "Lunch?"  
  
"What're they serving in the caf?" Miranda asked.  
  
"I think it's mystery meat day," Lizzie said as they stopped at her locker. "Thank God my mom packed me lunch."  
  
Matt's stomach rumbled, and he thought of the lunch that Mrs. Gordon had ever-so-thoughtfully *not* prepared him. Mystery meat? Ugh.  
  
Reaching the cafeteria, Miranda started off for the lunch line, Matt on her heels. But he was held back when Lizzie roughly grabbed the shoulder of his t-shirt and pulled him back. "Just *where* do you think you're going?"  
  
"To get lunch?"  
  
"Not right now you're not. This is our opportunity, while Miranda's gone."  
  
Matt's eyes widened. Lizzie wasn't going to *kiss* him or anything, was she? Gross! "I, um, I, I, uh..." he stammered, eyes darting around frantically, looking for an exit.  
  
Lizzie was staring at him like he'd grown a second head. "What is *with* you, Gordo? We have to plan her party, hello?"  
  
The party! Matt relaxed instantly. "Oh, that. Yeah. Okay."  
  
"So, what do you think we should do?"  
  
"Kidnap Brad Pitt?" Matt suggested, scanning the recesses of his mind for any little tidbits he knew about Miranda.  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes, not amused. "How about something slightly more doable," she said dryly.  
  
"I dunno, just get all of her friends together at our --*your*-- house, cake, her favorite CDs, all that good stuff. It doesn't have to be spectacular, you know."  
  
"But I want it to be spectacular," Lizzie said stubbornly.  
  
"Do you really have the time or the money to pull of the party of the millennium?" Matt said, and her eyes clouded over as she pondered this. "No," he said without waiting for an answer. "Listen, I'll distract Miranda after school today while you go and invite everybody, okay?"  
  
Lizzie grabbed him roughly and kissed his forehead. "You're brilliant sometimes, Gordo," she said.  
  
"Try all of the time," Matt said, trying not to recoil from her touch. "Can I go get lunch now?"  
  
"Go crazy," Lizzie said, taking her bag lunch to their usual table.  
  
"I fully intend to," Matt called over his shoulder. "I'm starving."  
  
As he surveyed the rather unappetizing display of gravy-laden mystery meat, he suddenly didn't feel so ravenous anymore. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Gordo wandered into the Digital Bean after school. He wasn't exactly sure why he was here, seeing as how he couldn't hang out with his friends, but he was itching to insert any sort of normalcy into his life at the moment.  
  
He ordered a mango smoothie and while he waited for his order to be filled, looked around the joint, eyes widening when they landed on his body, sitting with Miranda. They were laughing about something.  
  
"Hey, kid, your smoothie," the guy behind him in line said, pointing at the counter. Gordo grabbed his smoothie and rushed over to them. "Hey, what're you guys doing here?"  
  
"Hanging out," Matt-Gordo said, looking him over with distaste. Clearly, Gordo had interrupted something...but what on earth could Matt be doing with Miranda that Gordo could've interrupted..?  
  
Duh! Gordo remembered how earlier in the year, Matt had had a crush on Gordo's other best friend. Gordo had mocked Miranda relentlessly, but really he was sort of jealous that Miranda got the attentions of a McGuire, while Gordo was doomed forever to be 'just friends'.  
  
But was Matt using *Gordo's* body to get closer to Miranda? That was just...that was low, even for Matt McGuire.  
  
Then again, hadn't Gordo been using Matt's body to try and get closer to Lizzie?  
  
Okay, so they were both scummy. But still. If Miranda started to fall for Matt, that meant she would really be falling for *Gordo*. And that meant...well, it meant all sorts of disastrous things. "Mind if I hang out with you?" Gordo asked.  
  
Miranda was looking at him weirdly, and he swore he could see her blushing slightly in the darkness of the Digital Bean. "Um, sure, sure, join us," she said hurriedly. "I'll...I'll be right back." She rushed off, and Matt looked pleased. "She *does* like me."  
  
"Where's Lizzie?" Gordo asked, sitting down.  
  
Matt-Gordo shook his head. "Are you in love with my sister, or what?" he said.  
  
Gordo choked on his smoothie, spluttering wildly. "Say what?"  
  
"It's always Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie with you."  
  
"I'm just saying, it's weird for her to not be here. She's not doing anything this afternoon, so it would normally be the three of us here."  
  
"She's out inviting people to Miranda's surprise party," Matt-Gordo said, looking around the DB surreptitiously.  
  
"Surprise..." Gordo said slowly. "Oh, it's her birthday tomorrow, isn't it."  
  
"Yeah. How'd you know that?"  
  
"Um...I'm her best friend?" Gordo said.  
  
"Well, Lizzie forgot until this morning."  
  
Gordo laughed despite himself. "Yeah, she does this every year."  
  
"Remembers *your* birthday though, doesn't she," Matt said pointedly.  
  
"It's only a month before hers," Gordo said, suddenly anxious to change the subject. Because if they stayed on this track too long...  
  
"You know, she doesn't have a picture in her room anything like that picture *you* have of *her*," Matt said.  
  
Gordo's eyes widened. "*What*?"  
  
"Like I wouldn't see," Matt scoffed, rolling Gordo's eyes. "Please, Gordo, it takes front and center in your room, like you're a half step away from building a shrine, lighting candles, the whole nine yards."  
  
"You're exaggerating," Gordo said, swallowing nervously.  
  
"Well, it's a little ob--"  
  
"Okay, I'm back," Miranda said breathlessly, sliding back into her seat. "Did I miss anything?"  
  
"Nothing!" Matt and Gordo said, casting each other glances.  
  
Miranda raised an eyebrow, about to say something, then thought better of it. "When you two start getting along, I get confused," she said.  
  
"Us too," they said in unison, and then glared at each other.  
  
"Right then. Well, so, um, Matt, what's up?" she said, glancing rapidly between her smoothie glass and Gordo. Gordo blinked, bewildered. What was up with *her*?  
  
"Um, nothing. You know?" he said. "Just...stuff. Today Lanny and I glued a fake spider to the back wall of the classroom. You should've seen everyone freaking out." Gordo sat back in his chair and smiled, actually kind of proud of the fact that this story was absolutely true. furthermore, it had been kind of fun. He'd always been such a goody-goody, and while it wasn't in his nature to be anything but, it still was annoying to have that reputation. He'd tried once --miserably-- to be 'bad'. Of course, now that he was out of body, he might as well be out of character, to boot. It was fairly tame considering some of Matt's previous pranks, but Gordo was new.  
  
"Sounds...fun," Miranda said with a perplexed smile that Gordo knew all too well.  
  
"So how was your day?" Gordo asked, leaning forward. He was eager to hear just what Matt had been doing in his body all day.  
  
"Well, there was a pop quiz in math, which all of us probably failed," Miranda said breezily and Gordo turned to Matt-Gordo, alarmed. Matt-Gordo just shrugged like it was no big deal. Gordo refrained from groaning. He *never* failed pop quizzes. He loved pop quizzes.  
  
Miranda continued talking about her day, looking thrilled that someone had even asked her about it. She spent all of the time with Gordo and Miranda, he thought, and since they were *there* for all moments of her day, and she firmly believed in the no-communication-with-parents rule, she didn't really have anyone to talk to about these sorts of things.  
  
Before long, it was getting pretty late, and all three of them had to get home. "You know, this was really fun," Miranda said, gracing Gordo with a special smile. "It was pretty cool hanging out with you, Matt. Thanks for listening to me," she said, leaning over and kissing his cheek.  
  
Gordo's heebie-jeebie radar went into overdrive. Whoa, there. Miranda. Kissing him. Miranda. Matt. *He* was Matt. He...  
  
Wait. Okay. He was Matt, Matt was him, Miranda had kissed Matt, not him, Miranda liked Matt, Matt liked Miranda, Gordo still liked Lizzie. Things made sense again, as much sense as they could make when his best friend had a crush on his other best friend's little brother, and he was stuck in said brother's body.  
  
When they lectured you about preparing for the real world, they never mentioned body-switching antics.  
  
~~~~~  
  
'Matt' invited 'Gordo' over for dinner at the McGuires' that night, and Gordo was so comfortable being around them that he almost felt normal. Until of course he looked up from his food and saw himself sitting across from him.  
  
Matt, on the other hand, was having a hard time sitting with his family and not being himself. He had to be nice to Lizzie, he wasn't allowed to burp or fart or be disgusting in any way. Lizzie walked him to the door while his parents and Gordo went upstairs to bed. "Ummm, Gordo," she said slowly, holding onto his arm lightly. "I just wanted to...I wanted to say thanks."  
  
"Thanks?" Matt echoed, swallowing slightly. The way Lizzie was looking at him...well, he knew that Gordo liked Lizzie (even if he wouldn't admit it). But did Lizzie like Gordo..?  
  
"Yeah. For, um, for being...you know. For being you. I mean, thanks for helping and for keeping calm while I was tweaking, and..." She smiled at him, and there was something in her eyes that Matt couldn't read, and wasn't sure he wanted to.  
  
"Of course," he said, scratching the back of his neck. This would be the perfect opportunity to say something romantic, but even though he was supposed to be Gordo and was doing a pretty good job at it, saying something romantic to his sister was crossing a line. Furthermore, he knew that Gordo would never have the balls to do that. "I'm your best friend. And...Miranda's, too."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, of course you are. But just...thanks, I guess."  
  
"You're welcome," Matt said, and smiled at her. "But I gotta go, okay?"  
  
"Yeah." Matt turned the knob, opened the door, and was just stepping outside when Lizzie grabbed his arm. "Gordo, wait," she said, pulling him inside. "I just wanted to say thanks," she said.  
  
"You already said--" Matt started to say, when Lizzie leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're so good to me sometimes, Gordo," Lizzie said with a smile, and released him.  
  
Matt stared at her for a second, then left. 


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Day two of the Matt-Gordo switch still found them in the wrong bodies. Gordo was starting to sort of enjoy his time as Matt, where he could get away with just about anything. And with any luck, they'd switch back before he'd have to deal with the repercussions.  
  
Matt wasn't fairing as well as Gordo on the home front, considering the Gordons weren't as open and loving a family as his own. But his love life was on the rise -- he was getting closer to Miranda as Gordo, learning what he could about her, and Miranda was really warming up to the 'real' Matt, too.  
  
The only problem, of course, was that Lizzie seemed to be thinking that maybe she liked Gordo, and had kissed him twice yesterday. On the forehead and the cheek, so it wasn't totally ick (and certainly not a call-the-cops level)...  
  
"Of all the days for me to be you, I have to be you on the day that Lizzie decides to kiss me," Gordo complained on the phone that morning when Matt rehashed yesterday's events with him.  
  
"So you *do* like her!" Matt said.  
  
"What? No! No, I--"  
  
"Gordo, are there worse things than admitting the truth?"  
  
"Well, answer me this, Matt...how do *you* feel about Miranda? 'Cause she was getting pretty cozy with me yesterday, thinking that I was you...what's up with that?"  
  
Matt sighed. "Okay, so maybe I've been using your body to kind of promote myself...yeah, I like Miranda. But you already knew that."  
  
"I didn't know it was a recurring thing."  
  
"So you like Lizzie. Just say yes, and we can get this whole painful conversation out of the way."  
  
"FINE!" Gordo roared, despite himself. He glanced hurriedly at Matt's closed bedroom door, hoping that his outburst hadn't drawn her attention, then hissed into the phone, "I like Lizzie. A lot. Now let's just drop this, can we? If I'm upstairs one more minute, your mom will flip out."  
  
"*Tell* me about it," Matt said. "See ya."  
  
"See ya," Gordo said with a sigh, and hung up.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The day passed uneventfully, all things considered. Gordo, under the knowing guidance of Melina and Lanny, pulled a few small but successful pranks. He also invited them to the soiree at Chez McGuire that night, knowing that either he or Matt would need them, seeing as how they were the only ones who knew about the switch.  
  
Matt, on the other hand, got to spend a lot of time alone with Miranda, keeping her out of the way while Lizzie finalized plans with everyone. He wasn't really complaining about that, of course, why should he?  
  
He was also left in charge with getting Miranda to the McGuires' around six that night, which meant hanging out with her at the Digital Bean for the second afternoon in a row, under the guise of Lizzie going home early sick. Since three hours could not effectively be killed at the DB, they then went to the mall. Matt *hated* the mall, even more than the real Gordo, but for Miranda and Miranda's perfect birthday, it was worth it. Gordo had a present for Miranda tucked away in his desk drawer, where it had been for two weeks, according to him, but Matt still hadn't figured out what to get her.  
  
As Miranda looked at sweaters in the Style Shack, Matt checked his watch. Holy crap, it was quarter to six and they had to catch a bus back to his house... He tapped Miranda's shoulder. "Hey, you wanna drop by the McGuires' on our way home, see how Lizzie's doing?"  
  
"You are *so* in love with her!" Miranda squealed. "That's so adorable."  
  
"Okay, I'm going to pretend that wasn't ridiculously uncomfortable," Matt said.  
  
"Yeah, sure, I'll go with. Because if you think that being around me talking about you two is uncomfortable, I'd hate to see you being alone with Lizzie." She smirked and hit his shoulder lightly.  
  
Matt smiled back tightly; he had to keep up the ruse. "You gonna buy that?" he asked, pointing at the sweater Miranda was holding.  
  
She glanced down at it. "Nah. Not my color." She hung it back on the rack, and linked her arm through Gordo's. "Let's go, huh?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gordo checked the wall clock hanging in the kitchen. It was five after six now, and Miranda and Matt were nowhere to be seen. He chanced a glance at Lizzie, who was pacing anxiously in the living room, while the guests chatted quietly in the backyard. "They aren't here yet WHY aren't they here yet they should have been here FIVE minutes ago, you don't think something happened..?"  
  
She was talking to herself, but Gordo offered an answer anyway. "I'm sure they just had trouble catching a bus."  
  
Lizzie stopped in her tracks and looked at him. "I didn't ask you," she said sourly, then after a few seconds, her face softened. "Sorry. I'm just kind of stressing."  
  
"They'll be here," Gordo said, and seconds later, the doorbell rang. He cocked an eyebrow at his best friend. "See?"  
  
"Go! The guests! Surprise!" she said, waving at him frantically, and years of practice had given Gordo the ability to understand that. He exited out the glass doors and motioned to the guests assembled on the deck and in the backyard. "She's here," he announced. "Get ready."  
  
"So how're you feeling?" he heard Miranda asking, as Lizzie led them to the backyard according to her plan.  
  
"A lot better," Lizzie answered. "C'mon, let's go outside while it's still nice out."  
  
"SURPRISE!" the assembled party in the backyard screamed in unison.  
  
Miranda's jaw dropped. "Say what?"  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" the guests finished, confirming any suspicions Miranda might have had. She turned to stare at Lizzie. "You do this?"  
  
"Yup," Lizzie said proudly, nodding and unable to conceal her grin.  
  
Miranda threw her arms around Lizzie's neck. "Thank you!" she squealed, then turned around and repeated the process for Matt-Gordo. She grinned at the people in the backyard. "Thank you guys so much!" she said.  
  
"Matt, crank it up!" Lizzie said, and Gordo obediently turned the volume on the stereo up to a party level, while one of Miranda's favorite tunes blared. "Let's dance," Miranda said, and much to everyone's surprise, grabbed Gordo's arm and led him out onto the floor.  
  
Gordo glanced first at Lizzie, but she only cocked an eyebrow at the odd couple. Maybe Miranda had told Lizzie what Gordo and Matt had both suspected: that she liked Matt.  
  
His eyes then flickered to his own, as Matt stared at him from his own face. Although Gordo, feeling guilty on account of both McGuire offspring, looked back at his dancing partner, he could feel Matt-Gordo's eyes on him the entire time as he and Miranda boogied.  
  
When the song ended, however, Matt stepped over. "Can I cut in?" he said with a pointed look at Gordo. Gordo opened his mouth to say that this was a bad idea, but Miranda, oblivious, just smiled and nodded. "C'mon, Gordo, let's cut a rug," she said, and segued into another dance. And then the track faded into the next, which happened to be a slow song, and Matt must have been really caught up in the moment, because Gordo watched in horror as his body leaned in, and to the common eye, David Gordon kissed Miranda Sanchez. 


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
Gordo felt cold panic seize his body. Fortunately for them, most of the partygoers were too lost in the music and the food to notice the drama that was unfolding around the guest of honor. But unfortunately, the four people that mattered most in this equation all saw (or partook in).  
  
Miranda pulled back from Matt-Gordo, looking confused, horrified, and yet, intrigued, all at once. Gordo saw his own face twist up with Matt's own scared confusion. Gordo knew that Matt's face, under his control, was pure shock, and slowly giving way to fury. But the most torturous look was the one on Lizzie's face, as she watched her best friend kiss her other best friend, ranging from fear to confusion to shock to anger to complete horror to sadness and embarrassment.  
  
It was on the last look, the one of embarrassment, that she fled into the house, roughly shutting the glass door behind her with a dull thud. Like a bolt of lightning Gordo chased after her, glad for a few seconds to be in Matt's body because it got more use and was therefore faster than his own. in his mad dash, he also managed to grab the arms of Miranda and Matt-Gordo, pulling them into the house after him.  
  
Lizzie was gone from sight, but it didn't take a genius to figure out where she'd gone, and Gordo had the aide of his own instincts as her best friend, so he tugged Miranda and Matt upstairs and pounded on the door.  
  
"Go away," Lizzie said, tears already evident in her voice, and while Lizzie crying tore his heart in two, like it always did, Gordo couldn't help but feel a surge of hope that maybe Lizzie's anguish was partly caused by the fact that it was Gordo kissing Miranda, and maybe, just maybe, she wanted Gordo kissing *her*.  
  
Gordo ignored her plea, and dragged his two companions with him, shutting the door and barring the four of them inside. "You're not going to like this," he said, directing it to all three of them, "and you're probably not going to believe it," that was directed at the girls. "But it's time for the truth. And you're just going to have to trust me -- trust the both of us," he amended, knowing that they still thought that Gordo was Gordo, and wouldn't be terribly likely to believe anything Matt said.  
  
"I don't want to hear it, whatever it is," Lizzie said sourly, fighting back sobs, but all the same, she looked confusedly at who she believed to be her brother, clearly wondering why he was interfering.  
  
"Lizzie, Miranda, remember when you came home Sunday afternoon, and there was that blender on the table that we told you not to drink from?" Gordo started carefully. Miranda stared at him, nonplussed, then slowly nodded. Lizzie stared at her hands.  
  
"Well, in that blender was this concoction that Matt and I made. Normal smoothies, until of course we added those jalapeno peppers...anyway, we drank it at the same time, and somehow, we ended up being each other."  
  
Miranda blinked, like she didn't believe she'd heard him correctly or didn't understand what he'd said. Gordo noted the almost imperceptible way that Lizzie stiffened, a motion hidden from anyone but him, because she was his everything and he knew every move she made.  
  
"So you're saying..?" Miranda said.  
  
"I'm Gordo," Gordo finished. He waved his hand at his own body. "And that's Matt."  
  
Miranda shook her head. "This is absolutely ludicrous," she said, starting for the door.  
  
Lizzie stood up, and said, "No it isn't," with such clarity in her voice that they all stared at her. "I believe them, Miranda. It sounds absolutely nutty, but believe it or not, earlier in the year I switched bodies with Matt, so I believe them absolutely." She turned and favored Gordo with a look of understanding, and one that was laden with the fact that she *knew* who he was and wasn't fooled by his disguise.  
  
"But you can't just *switch bodies* with a person," Miranda said.  
  
"C'mon, it all makes sense when you put it together. Gordo being unusually quiet these days, failing a pop quiz, *not caring* about it...that's not Gordo. And Matt, suddenly being helpful and considerate? There's definitely something up with that one."  
  
"So..." Miranda said, comprehension finally dawning in her eyes, although a bit reluctantly. She looked at Matt. "So that was *Matt* kissing me, not Gordo."  
  
"Yes," the boys chorused.  
  
"I wouldn't kiss you like that," Gordo added hastily, realizing a second too late that maybe that sounded mean, but Miranda nodded like she understood completely. "Because you like Lizzie."  
  
"*What*!?" he and Lizzie both spat, eyes widening. Gordo caught a glimpse of them in Lizzie's full length mirror, and the two McGuires looked ridiculously alike, with panicked expressions. If he wasn't so scared, he would've laughed.  
  
Miranda jerked a thumb at Matt-Gordo. "He told me."  
  
"You *told* her?" Gordo said accusingly.  
  
Matt-Gordo shrugged. "She figured it out for herself, just like I did." He glared almost contemptuously at his sister. "Too bad *you* could never figure it out."  
  
"I...I..." Lizzie stammered, and she kept shooting glances at Gordo, so much so that they both were beet red. "So all those things...that was really...that was Gordo talking...and..." She collapsed backwards on her bed, and for a second Gordo's --Matt's-- heart stopped as he feared she'd passed out, but she let out a strangled sound, and he realized she was just overcome with emotion. Good, bad, he didn't know.  
  
"Listen, Miranda, it's not Gordo, it's Matt, it's me, that really likes you," Matt said quietly. "This has gotta be hard to take coming from Gordo, clearly, but I had to say it. And I'm sorry I kissed you, because I know you're confused, on more level than one."  
  
"You can say that again," Miranda said. "I've gotta say, this knocks the birthday party where my dad accidentally stabbed the bounce house with prongs to shame." She shook her head. "I gotta think this over. I'm going back out to the party."  
  
"You're going to do deep thinking at a party?" Gordo said skeptically.  
  
"Don't question my methods," Miranda said, and exited stage right.  
  
"If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room," Matt said, and Gordo almost shouted at him to stay, because suddenly, being alone with Lizzie was the last thing he wanted.  
  
But it was too late, Matt was gone, and Gordo was stuck here, with Lizzie. Lizzie, who knew that he loved her, and he was still stuck in this damned body. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"Listen, um, Lizzie..." he began, but past 'listen, Lizzie,' he had no other words.  
  
Lizzie, still staring at her ceiling, said, "Gordo, tell me the truth. Please. You can't hide behind being Matt anymore."  
  
He sighed. She was making it easy for him, but it was never more difficult. "Okay, you want the truth? Here's the truth. I like you, Lizzie. Like you as in the way you like Ethan. And the reason I've never told you, which I know is the next question you're going to ask--" Her silence confirmed this fact, "--is because I knew you'd react the way you're reacting now. Confused as hell. And I didn't want to do that to you, I didn't want to put our friendship in jeopardy. Can you blame me?"  
  
"No," she said quietly.  
  
"You can't hear this coming from Matt, can you," he said bluntly.  
  
She shook her head against the pillows. "No."  
  
"I can't fix this," Gordo said. "Isn't it the prime example of irony that when I finally get the courage to tell you the truth, I'm stuck in the wrong body. The worst body I could be in, all things considered." Courage? He was shaking in Matt's shoes. They both knew the only reason that he'd finally admitted it was because she'd demanded it of him.  
  
"When I saw you --your body, that is-- kissing Miranda, I...well, I reacted," Lizzie said, her voice finally losing its dull edge.  
  
"That's an understatement."  
  
"Let me finish," she said sharply, and he nodded in compliance, even though nothing but the ceiling was in her line of vision. "At first I thought it was just hurt because my two best friends were hooking up behind my back in front of me, and I was being left out of the loop." She sighed, and sat up. She still wouldn't look at him, but it was an improvement nonetheless. "But I thought about it, and while I didn't really have much time to give it deep consideration, I knew, I *knew* that I was so upset because I was *jealous*."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Matt paced in his room, keeping his eyes on his carpet. Because if he looked up, he might catch sight of his reflection, and be reminded of how dire this situation was.  
  
He couldn't restrain himself, could he? He'd been Gordo, and finally achieved that closeness with Miranda that he'd so wanted, and he'd gone a little --okay, a *lot*-- crazy.  
  
But it had been good.  
  
There was a knock on the door. "What," Matt barked, not sure he wanted to face anyone right now. The last thing he needed was for one of his parents to have seen the whole ordeal taking place in the backyard, and thinking that they need to intervene. Which they just might, even though neither Gordo nor Miranda were their kids.  
  
The door opened tentatively, and a familiar brunette head poked in. "I thought you might be in here," Miranda said softly.  
  
Matt relaxed completely, although his mind was still on guard. He'd been through way too much lately to be completely at ease anymore. "Oh, hey. Come in."  
  
"Um...you're still Matt, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay, then," she said, walking past him and sitting on the edge of his bed. "Listen, I've been thinking, and...you've been so nice lately...and not to say that Gordo's *not* nice, but it's just that...I don't know." She blew her bangs off her forehead in frustration. "I'm not making sense."  
  
She wasn't, but Matt didn't voice his agreement.  
  
"It's just that...okay, well, maybe, I like you, too. Like Matt, I mean. But you knew that. You pretty much pried it out of me." She smirked slightly. "Just like Matt, to use Gordo's body to his advantage and weasel himself into another sticky situation."  
  
"The stickier, the better," Matt said.  
  
"I...that was really you, kissing me, wasn't it," she said, finally daring to look at him, and the expression in her dark eyes Matt couldn't read, but he imagined it translated into something good for him. "I mean, if I kissed the *real* Gordo, in his own body...he wouldn't kiss me like that, is what I'm saying. That was really you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah it was," Matt said, for once without any sort of snarky comeback. "Miranda, I...I really like you," he said.  
  
"Listen...if you and Gordo...you know...switch back... You wanna maybe give *us* another try? I promise I won't be as wigged out this time," she said with a smile.  
  
Matt couldn't erase his grin if he tried. "Sure, sounds great." And then, although his brain told him that this wasn't the best of ideas, all things considered, he leaned in to give her another kiss.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"You were jealous," Gordo echoed.  
  
"Yeah," Lizzie said.  
  
"Like you wanted me to be kissing *you* instead," Gordo elaborated.  
  
"Well, I..." Lizzie frowned, having an internal debate. "No. Yeah. I mean, yeah, like I wanted you to be kissing me instead. I mean...maybe I have feelings for you, too. Maybe. I don't know. I want to...I want to give us a chance, I guess is what I'm saying. Give us a chance to find out if I really am feeling what I think I'm feeling."  
  
Gordo fought hard to hide the grin that was threatening to split his face in two. He remained calm for Lizzie, however. She didn't need to know just how much he was dorking out, just how much that statement meant to him.  
  
"Lizzie, I just wanted to apologize. I was using Matt's body to try and manipulate you, and that was a million different kinds of wrong. I'm really sorry about that. I...you mean a lot to me, Lizzie, friend or otherwise, and I don't want to hurt you, ever."  
  
"I understand," she said, and added, "you're forgiven."  
  
Finally, finally, finally she looked up at him, and there was a tear on her face, one that he wanted to wipe away but knew he couldn't because he was still Matt. There was confusion in her eyes, that was to be expected, but there was hope, too. And best of all, she was smiling.  
  
And then the universe folded in. 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.  
  
Author's note: here it is, the final chapter of my bizarro little saga. I was originally going to break it up into two, for more dramatic effect, but then one of them would have been really short, so instead you get a new crisis and then a complete resolution, all in one really long chapter. Thanks for the support during this, it was a lot of fun to do. :)  
  
*Karasuma*Firestorm*  
  
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  
  
"What the hell..?" Gordo said, and found himself a mere half inch away from Miranda Sanchez's lips.  
  
Immediately Miranda's eyes flew open, and the first thing he saw was rage. No one messed with Miranda, and if you acted like you were going to kiss her, and then didn't follow through, you better have a damned good excuse.  
  
Comprehension dawned in her eyes as she realized that Matt had a *very* good excuse. Because this meant that Gordo was actually...Gordo.  
  
One door down, a scream erupted, male, shortly followed by a piercing female scream.  
  
Miranda and Gordo shared a look, then darted down the hallway into Lizzie's room. Matt McGuire was touching his body frantically, lifting his arm in a wave and then staring at it in awe as his actions were reflected in the mirror. "I'm me!" he shouted triumphantly.  
  
"Okay, I get him..." Miranda said. "Why did *you* scream?" she asked of Lizzie.  
  
Lizzie looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, he scared me..." she said. "Wait. You're..." she looked at Matt, confused, then looked back and forth rapidly between Matt and Gordo. "You guys switched back."  
  
Gordo reached up to scratch his head, and found his familiar curly hair. Grinning widely, he ran his hands through his mop of hair, relishing the feel. Before this whole ordeal, he'd been debating getting a haircut, but now he wouldn't dream of it. "Yep," he said with a considerable amount of pride seeping into his voice. "We switched back."  
  
Miranda grabbed Matt. "I guess I'll be collecting on that sooner than I thought," she said, leaning over and kissing him.  
  
Gordo and Lizzie gaped. "Mi-*randa*!" Lizzie said, her jaw dropping.  
  
Miranda laughed. "Would you rather I kissed him?" she asked, jerking her thumb at Gordo.  
  
Lizzie blushed. "No."  
  
"Lizzie?" Gordo asked. "Were you, ah...were you serious about giving us a try?"  
  
He hadn't thought Lizzie could blush any more deeply without bursting a blood vessel or something, but she pulled it off. "I was."  
  
This time, Gordo went red too. He'd wanted to hear something like that for so long, and now it looked like his wish was coming true finally. "What say we get back to the party?" he said, smiling at each of them in turn.  
  
"Best idea I've heard all day," Miranda said, and she linked her arm through Matt's in a gesture that was intentionally over the top, but got her point across.  
  
As they started down the stairs, Gordo turned to Lizzie and held out his hand. She looked at it for a second, then met his eyes, then with a small smile, accepted his hand. He pulled her to his feet, and then, neither of them letting go but both scared out of their minds, followed Matt and Miranda downstairs.  
  
Things were looking up, Gordo thought as the four of them stepped back onto the back porch. He was himself again, and there was the possibility that he and Lizzie might become something more...  
  
Then an unfortunately familiar blond girl stopped in front of them, looking furious. "Matt McGuire, you're in *love* with me?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Say what?" Matt and Miranda chorused, and Miranda dropped her arm from around Matt's, looking decidedly embarrassed as several people stopped their partying to look over.  
  
Melina, however, had marched over to Gordo and was glaring at him with fire in her eyes. "I can't *believe* you," she said fiercely.  
  
Gordo reluctantly dropped Lizzie's hand and held up his own hands gently, trying to diffuse the situation as painlessly as possible. "Melina, it's Gordo. We, ah, we switched back," he finished quietly, glancing around and hoping no one had heard him.  
  
"Oh," she said dully, then her eyes flared again. "*Oh*!" She stalked over to Matt and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "I can't *believe* you!"  
  
"Melina, what are you talking about?" Matt said, genuinely confused. He shot a look at Gordo, but Gordo only shrugged. Matt had dug himself into this one on his own, Gordo had had nothing to do with whatever it was.  
  
"I'm talking about what Adam Barton told me!" she said, poking him again for good measure.  
  
"You listen to anything Adam Barton has to say?" Matt said.  
  
"Well, I thought she ought to know this juicy little morsel," Adam said, stepping out of the crowd with a smug look. He clasped his hands together and looked to the sky plaintively. "'I shouldn't like her,'" he said in a mocking tone of angst. "'She's my best friend.'"  
  
"When did I ever say *that*," Matt said.  
  
"Yesterday at lunch," Adam said with a smug look. "You've gotta keep your guard up, McGuire, because I'm always watching you. Just itching for you to slip. And boy, did you ever slip," he said gleefully.  
  
Matt glared at Gordo. "This is *your* doing."  
  
Gordo realized he was guilty as charged. "I'm sorry, I was talking to Lanny, and..."  
  
"Listen, Bar-tone," Matt said, putting a French spin on his adversary's name, "you heard wrong, okey-dokey? Because I'm not in love with Melina. I already *have* a girlfriend," he added, gripping Miranda's hand possessively.  
  
A murmur passed through the part of the crowd that had become the audience, and all eyes were on Miranda now. She looked slightly uncomfortable, but at the same time, kinda pleased.  
  
Adam peered at Miranda suspiciously. "You don't go to this school. How do I know you're not his sister or something?"  
  
"Uh, hello?" Lizzie said. "I'm not exactly proud of it, but *I'm* the goober's sister."  
  
"I go to Hillridge Junior High," Miranda said.  
  
"You're *older*?" Adam said, and his expression changed from suspicion to awe. With an admiring grin, he clapped Matt on the shoulder. "Way to go, man!"  
  
"Thanks," Matt said with a genial smile and matching tone, then he switched quickly to his no-nonsense tone, one he no doubt adapted from his mom. "Now get out."  
  
Adam's eyes widened, and he scurried.  
  
Matt glanced at Melina. "I'm sorry. It's nothing personal."  
  
She looked from Matt to Miranda, then briefly to Gordo, then back to Matt, and then shrugged. "No biggie."  
  
Matt stared at her retreating back, then gave up, turned to Miranda, and asked if she wanted to dance. She did.  
  
Watching them dance, crisis averted, Gordo became aware of his hand being squeezed, and realized that Lizzie had grabbed it again. He fought back a smile, and looked to her. "So you said all that, huh," she said. "The stuff that kid was saying Matt said."  
  
"Yeah," he said, and wished he could be more eloquent.  
  
Lizzie looked like she wanted to say something, then thought better of it, shaking her head slightly, and smiling at him. "Wanna dance?"  
  
Gordo couldn't think of anything he'd rather do, and nodded.  
  
As the mix CD of Miranda's favorite songs played on, and half the population of Hillridge Junior High milled about the McGuire backyard, eating and chatting, Miranda and Matt and Lizzie and Gordo danced into the evening, on the brink of something weird and new. 


End file.
